Working in a men world

To him, I'm probably nothing
Just a young girl, trying her luck at the corporate - men biased world
With clothes that I wear everyday, or the way I speak and laugh
He probably think that I dont know what I am talking bout, let alone what I am doing

He never realised how much I want to please him
For me, just a little criticism from him feels like a hard slap at the back, force me to try harder
Just a small mistake that I did, makes me feel like a total failure

He never remember those days when basically I did most of his jobs
Cleaned up his mess because he was just too coward to deal with them himself

To him, I am just a fresh graduate, and in the process of doing my training
To him, I am good only for administrative works
Well, I guess, patience has a limit and it's definitely not my virtue

My Perfect Guy

He has to know the difference between a good denim and the bad ones. And yes, the narrow - end leg is categorized as the bad ones. He does not have to be fashionable intellect, but the decent t-shirts and occassionally crisp suits are necessary. He smells nice, so nice that I have to brace my self for not kissing him all over.

He has to have a nice smile. With a decent set of teeth, please. Comforting and genuine smiles that I know will always await for me everytime I blab all my rubbish problems and worries. But the eyes have to top it all off. Those gentle and heartwarmed eyes that can reflect his innermost soul.

He will understand my longing to have The perfect wardrobe. One that fills with heavenly goodies from Chloe and Stella MaCartney(fine, Zara and Mango will do just fine!). He accepts the fact that there are few occasion when I would like to get dolled up and wear those brighly coloured summer dresses for no apparent reasons whatsover excepts that they can make me feel like a princess. And he will not laugh about it when I've told him so.

He knows that I need to have my weekly gossip session with my dear friends, and realise that he has to love them too. They are my most precious gems and I can't live one day without them. Have not seen them in merely three days can be considered as a very long period of absence, and he knows it too.

He can challange my intellegence ( it wont be hard, you know) as he has this broad - enlighted knowledge and perpective on how the world works. But on the same time, we can laugh together when it showed that God indeed has an ironic sense of humour. He knows that I am always up for witty quotes or wisdom- enriched prose. He always lend me good books, and I can find myself enjoying them as much as he did.

He can make me laugh. About anything and everything under the sun. We can spend hours for laughing our asses off about something that remotely unfunny. He can totally connect with my freak sense of humour and can enjoy Seinfeld as much as I do.

He understands that I am a shy and vulnerable girl inside and these images that I try to project throughout my life can finally put to rest everytime we're together. Therefore he will not look down on me if I cry my eyes out everytime we come across those sentimental and corny shows or ads.

He makes me feel beautiful, even without my make up on. He knows that some poeple is born without eyebrows and he would not think it funny ( no, I did not shave them off. I seriously do not have any eye brows. And these pathetic thin hairs on the top of my eyes can not be called as eye brows).

He will not think my taste in music is horrid everytime I listen to my guilty-pleasures songs (Backstreet Boys, anyone?).

He will understand my need to hide from the world for a while, under my comforting doona, and he will always be there whenever I am bored with my doona.

He will always kiss my forehead, everytime he drives me home.

And the most importantly, he needs to have a set of strong hands, so he will always hold my hands throughout those happy, sad, drama, heartaches, fights and embarrassing moments, especially when life throws a tonne of bricks at me.

Idiot!!!!!!

Shit!!!!!!!I think I've made a wrong decision.....again. But this time is serious as it involved other people's heart and my already - bad karma. Oh God...

I should have follow my heart...but nooooooooo... I chose to listen to my brain (you stupid brain...go away...you!!). I should have known that if it the matter of the hearts, one should not be forced..especially me..who has a very stubborn nature as one of my traits.

I will soooo have to pay for this in the future. I think I will be cursed for the next 7 generation. How can I be so stupid!I have known the answer all this time..but either Im too stupid to realize it or I am just too ignorant. Either way...it's all my fault.

There's this guy, two years younger than me. Few years back, he had a crush on me. Well I rejected him at that time, thinking "What will I do with this younger guy??". Note: I am a firm believer that age might not reflects your level of maturity but sometimes it does reflect the level of expereinces. And expereinces teach you to be the person you are now. I also did not find him attractive physically. And he talks too much!!! Waaaayyyyyy too much for a guy.

Fast foward to 2006, out of the blue this guy sms-ed me and he still has a crush on me *well...a tad serious than that, to be honest*. And to be honest, I am flattered. So flattered that I agreed to go out with him regularly. I thought, "Hey..it's not that I have more interesting things to do every weekends, anyway". And after spending 3 years man - free for every weekend, it feels rather nice to have someone to pick you up, dine you and accompany you. And another important factor: my mom has quit to nag me every weekend if she sees me at home with no guy in sight.

So after several weeks of "dating", the guy seems anxious to know the state of our relationship. Where are we going, are we official, do I have feelings for him, etc. At first, I know that basically, I dont like him romantically. I enjoy his company but that's as far as the rabbit's hole goes. But looking at his face, and seeing how much effort he has given, I just dont have the heart to tell him the truth. So in my own way, I asked him to wait as I could not give the answer right away.

So while I spent time thinking, I was also busied myself with praying, asking God to make me at least be able to like him, just a little bit. If that happens, it will solve my problem easily.

To make the long story short, after several agonising weeks, I have agreed to say "yes" to his offer. Yes, I have chosen at least to try this relationship and make it work - based on my theory and past experiences that it's better for women to have relationship with men that are a lot more into her than she into him.

Wrongggggggg!!!!!!Yesterday, in a cafe, while watching him talking about something *yes.he still talks that much*, suddenly I realize that "Helllooooo....I dont know what I'm doing here with you".

I think the novelty has passed. The novelty of having a guy that adores you.

And there's nothing I can do about it now. I really have to learn to like him somehow.

It's so true to "You can rarely get what you want, and on the same time, you always get what you dont want".

Oh God, why can I just be able to want what is being given to me.

A Not-So-Glamorous-Job, eh?

I just realised..that I have a very...I mean verryyyyyyyyy unglamorous job compare to my friends. If someone asked them what did they do on that day..the answers might varied as follows:

1. "Damnit...I have spent hours and hours looking at Bloomberg, looking at a certain company's stock price..which has not increase since I made the recommendation to my corporate clients to buy it. Shit".
2. " I locked myself for hours for those back-to-back meetings. I could barely open my eyes".
3. "What a boring day today. I wasted it away for making this bluprints for corporate social responsible proposal for my clients".

Whilst..if you ask me..my answers will be varied as follow:
1. " I have to check my cleaners..whether they have mopped the floor properly"
2. " Uh..I got o climbed those vertical staircase with my high heels to see the waterproofing works. How exciting".
3. " Damn..my toilets are dirty. I have to make sure they have enough toilet papers".
4. "I got that test for genset running and I got deaf in the process".

and the list can go on and on.

Future Me

I found this website ....www.futureme.org which I thought is bizzare but brilliant and interesting at the same time. Anyway, the idea behind it is to allow you to send your future self an email...so it can be the next day or even 20 year later (assuming that the maintenance blokes are still there ). The email itself can be about anything that you want to tell your future self - a reminder how the life was used to be, a hopeful wish that your future self is in the better state of being compare to you at the present state..or even encouranging for your future self to always be happy and chase those dreams that you used to have.

When you think about it..it has a very basic concept. You are just only delaying the email that you wrote your self..for ..let say..10 years or so. But the thought of one email can change a person's outlook for life is just....nice.

Anyways..here is some of the examples that I found interesting...

i hope when you read this that you've done everything you've ever wanted to do. I hope youre married and happy and have a family of your own I hope if youre not married and dont have a family of your own that your still happyI hope youre still loving that man you wake up to every morning I hope that the man that youre waking up to is loving you every morning (because remember: accept no crap - and most importantly you DO deserve it!)I hope you have finally finished writing that sci fi novel you've been going on about for years now.... (dont bother too much about the why - just do it!)I hope when you read this that you can read this.(written Fri Jun 11, 2004, to be delivered Sun Jun 11, 2034)

Dear FutureMe, I'm in rehab right now and I think it'll be interesting to see if this gets through to be 20 years from now......Will I still be alive.Remember the foloowing:Danielle ChillemiJackie, Chris, and Matt aka Klymax Crew.You father loves you.So do mom and Eric.And you love them.Rehab sucks ass and the only drug worth doing is mushrooms.Fuck the rest of the bullshit.Are you an accomplished actor yet? You better be!And oh yea, one more thing:I love you.(written Fri Dec 16, 2005, to be delivered Tue Dec 16, 2025)

Dear FutureMe, Remember this? I'm sending this to remind myself how good things are right now. Alex is about to turn 16 and is involved in technical theatre up to his eyeballs. Christian is emerging as a great student of science. Chris and I are happy..enjoying the beginning of what I hope will be a lifetime of happiness together. I hope things are as good ..or better in the future!Me(written Sun Mar 6, 2005, to be delivered Sun Mar 6, 2011)

Dear FutureMe, What's up yo! This is me... umm, YOU... only 5 years ago. Kinda like back to the future.... only not. So, how has life been treating you? Hopefully pretty great, cuz, I mean, that's my future you're messing with! Don't screw it up!! Have you finished your Berean yet...... you ARE still gonna be a youth minister, right? You'd better not be a druggie now!! What!? You are, aren' you!! You FREAKIN' IDIOT..... wha... you're not? oh, my bad. that's embarrassing.So, if they have the technology to send an email to the past by the time you get this, shoot me one back! I'd like to know how the future is going. Oh, and you COULD, ya know, let me know who wins a few Superbowls or something between now and then.... that'd be pretty sweet! And then you could email me again and tell me if changing the past really does change the future. Well, I think I am running out of things to say..... hopefully we develop some better social skills between now and then. Anyways, I'll see ya later..... that's a strange thought. Its like the twilight zone or something.Your's TrulyThe YOU of Christmas Past(written Mon Dec 19, 2005, to be delivered Sat Dec 25, 2010)

Dear FutureMe, I hope you finally realize you have everything you need in life. By now, you are much more confident, happy with the little things and live purely for the fun of it. Remember these days back in 2003? Lansdale street in rochester, Zammy as a roommate? The Cat with the HIV and the dialated eye? What about Pittsford Ambulance (did Josh get to be the Director of Operations?)I have some questions about what came of your life. 1) did you ever go to australia.. you really should have and it would be ashamed if you dont. 2) Is it the IT things? the med school thing? please tell me your not still a security guard. Once again, there is only 1 life to live... make it a good one.. every single day.--AJps: happy birthday.(written Tue Sep 9, 2003, to be delivered Fri Feb 17, 2023)


Dear FutureMe, Just in case you forget:The money is buried in the backyard behind your favorite tree - the one that talks to you at night - take 32 paces wearing your silver stripper shoes, turn around three times while humming the theme to "Gilligan's Isle". When you are finished, start digging wherever you are standing.Love, The You of 2005ps- PSYCH!!! You had no money to bury, are you crazy?!! I'll bet I was getting my hopes up, wasn't I? Sorry, just kidding. But not about the Love part, I really do love me. You.

Dear FutureMe, you have no future, you have no girl, you have a shitty serving job at 'el pinto', you've failed out of college, you don't know what you want to do with your life, you are still living at your parents house... if you don't have a real career/if you haven't somehow convinced Florie Knauf to marry you/ if you don't have a degree (of any kind) by the time you read this mesage kill yourself!(written Sat Dec 24, 2005, to be delivered Sat May 19, 2012)

Anyway...as it for me..I'be receiving mine when I'm 30. It will be a gift for my self. I dont know how I will react, though. That will be interesting. Most probably, cry. And be a total wreck for the whole day as I would then get reminded on my younger and happier days.

A girl can always dream, right?

Listening
by: David Ignatow

You wept in your mother's arms
and I knew that from then on
I was to forget myself

Listening to your sobs,
I was resolved against my will
to do well by us
and so I said, without thinking,
in great panic, To do wrong
in one's own judgment,
though others thrive by it,
is the right road to blessedness.
Not to submit to error
is in itself wrong
and pride.

Standing beside you,
I took an oath
to make your life simpler
by complicating mine
and what I always thought
would happen did:
I was lifted up in joy.

Blaaahhh.....

Today is one of those days..when you just want to curl up under the doona..and refuse to face life. Especially with the grey in the sky, and with the occasionally rain...you just want to cry. Not that I want to cry exactly...but I felt so burdened by this expectation - from work and family, that it seems that I would never be able to catch up.

Work expectation is simpler to handle. I just have to accept whatever criticism that goes my way..from people that dont really understand the extend of the job that I am doing. It sucks, I know. But I guess, it pays to be the boss. I always thought that I am the kind of person who can accepts criticism lightly, never really feel offended or anything. You can scold me, argue or even scream at me..but I would never take it personally. It just stays for a while and then it would fades easily. But this particular ctitcism is different. Somehow, everytime I think about it, feels like a knife just cut right into my heart.

Family expectation is the one that I more concerned about. Just this morning, my mom told me that she doesnt want anything for her birthday. Instead she only asks for one special gift.."the day that you told me that you have finally have a boyfriend...that is the gift that i've been waiting for". Righttttttt...........

Little does she know..that for the past weeks, I have sms-es, have little dates here and there with this guy that I dont like. I am willing to lower my bar as I know that my mom would be really happy if finally I have a boyfriend. I have tried and tried to like the guy..just a little bit...with no avail. He's a nice guy..dont get me wrong...but I just dont like him. It's true when people say that rarely you can get what you want and at the same time you get what you dont want. And sometime what you want is not always what you need. And the tricky bit is you cant differentiate the two. Confused?..me too.

So I guess, for the time being, I would just at least try to enjoy the ride. Enjoy the attention that he's given me. Have to admit, little tenderness and caring wont hurt. I guess, this is the easy way out. Easier than to argue with mom - to make her understand that there are more other improtant things in life, other than searching for a boyfriend . Easier than to broke the poor guy's heart after all his efforts. And I guess, easier than to calm my self that my time to have that special someone has not yet to come.

Past, Present and Future

Came across this kind of post in a stranger's blog ( I am sooo productive during my working hours, huh?). Anyway, am thinking how interestnig it will be if I do one my self....

20 Years Ago
Well practically I cant remember anything as I was still a toddler. But from I've heard from family and relatives, I was an easy child. I was quiet and easily preoccupied with my own mind and world. My obervation nature has also showed during this period. They said that I would like to stare at objects that I found interesting. Well sometimes, it didn't have to be an object, I would like to stare at people too. Nonetheless, I still has this nature of mine. I guess, there's a truth about that theory that says a child personality will be greatly influenced by their first three years of living. Oh well....

10 Years Ago
I was in final year of middle school and I had fun during the year. I've found great friends that still remain until now. I have my first crush to this boy in my class, whom I thought has the cutest smile ever. I wore this thick glasses, therefore I am not that popular during my younger days. I was also an akward teenager with a very low self-confidence. But whatever happened during those years, I still have a great time. But one thing that I can still remember, that I liked to write my diary at nights which only consisted of one thing....I prayed that I can be prettier so boys could be easily attracted to me (so I guess you know what happened to my little crush, back then)

5 Years Ago
I was having the time of my life!!!! I was in Melbourne - my lovely, lovely city. It was my first year in Uni..took Architecture which was a torture due to lack of creativity and dilligency from my side. Just found my two bestest buddies by coincidence. God has His own plan, afterall. The 1st one I've met in a plane journey back to Melbourne after a summer holiday back home. I knew this girl previously, as she was the girlfriend of my ex's best friend but we never had the chance to talk. And in that plane, we were supposedly caught it with our respective boyfriends, but things happened..so I bumped into her in Bali's airport when we have transited and just talked. the next thing I knew.she's still my best friend until today.
The 2nd one I've met in one of my classes. He didn't look like Indonesian and he had this scary-dont-approcah-me-as-i-dont-want-to-be-friend-with-you look. But I was desperate for a friend and my gut was telling me that he's not that scary afterall. And I was right. And I cant imagine my life without having them......

3 Years Ago
I was still in Melbourne, doing my final year in Uni. Has changed major from architectue to construction which is not bad at all. Went out with my 3rd boyfriend and had a strange relationship with him. Him and I werethe kind of people that need to be surrounded by our friends..so sometimes his friends or mine could get in the way. However..whenever we managed to find time to meet each other...it was fun. But I guess..due to lack of commitment from his side..we had to break it off. And it was the most heart-breaking experience that I have encounter. Learnt to be cynical afterwards.

Last Year
Working my ass off by doing something that I thought I would enjoy...Days consisted only for working..and sometime unable to tell the difference each day from the others. Still missing Melbourne so much. But finally few of my best friends had also joined me in Jakarta..so it was not that bad. Just had a Lasik surgery...which was painful afterwards..but grateful by the experience as now I dont have to wear contacts and do other attributes attached to it. Tried to find a boyfriend..but it went down the drain..Was closed to a guy who did not know what he want from life..and I was bored waiting from him to make the decision. Also..my biggest achievement ever...I started to teach!!! Yeah....i teach English to these 4th and 5th graders. The kids are gorgeous and I just love them to bits.

This year
Still working my ass off in the same career. But promised myself that will find other job..if there's no new things that can make me excited and challeged. Also promised my self to learn how to drive.Finally!!!!. Still teaching at the yayasan...And also..promised my self not to be cynical anymore as the wound has healed completely.

Next Year
Has a change in career or at least is giving a different project. Has a better and fulfilling salary..(afterall..I am working for the money). I can drive...I am better inside and out... My teeth braces finally can come off....and will so doing that teeth bleeching thing as I believe..smile is a girl's best weapon.

10 Year
Has a cerrer that I can be proud of. It doesnt have to be some high flyer-powerful-with high salary kind of jobs...but really something I that I would be love doing.l Something that I know that I can picture myself doing it even when I'm old and retire. In terms of domestic live, hopefully by then I have 4 wonderful kids with a marriage that still has a strong passion and understanding. Living in a humble-size house that is nicely decorated. I still have a great friendship with my best friends. And has added few more countries to the list of my adventure.

However if by then I still end up living alone, hopefully I can afford living by myself (still living with parents by this age is just plain pathetic). And has gained the wisdom that living alone is merely by choice..not fate.

PMS-ing perhaps?!

This morning..just when I was about to reach my workplace, I came across a somewhat-sweet scene which hunted me until now. There was this middle aged man, pressumably a "tukang ojek", equipped with all his attributes such as leather jacket, handkerchief tied to his neck, and a red faded t-shirt underneath the jacket and a used-to-be-black trousers. He was sitting at the side of the pavement with his helmet laid near him. He looked like he was waiting for someone of something.

Then, out of nowhere, came this stray cat, old and dirty and I bet was smelly too. The guy, then just picked up the cat unto his lap and he gently patted the cat. Over and over again.

I know that for some poeple, there is nothing special about this scene. But for me, while also urged by this bloody PMS, thought that there is nothing more beautiful to start my day than watching such scene.

I just wish that I can come across such scene more often. Where poeple will pat strangers gently.

Wish List

1. I wish I am in Melbourne
2. I wish I can still go for coffees in CnB, Chappelis, Giorgos, Laurent, Brunetti, Kush, botanical garden
3. I wish I still in my lecture theaters, tutorial classes
4. I wish I can go to Chapel
5. I wish I can easily hop into trams to take me anywhere
6. I wish my Bon Bon still lives with me
7. I wish I am in my apartment
8. I wish when I turn on the TV, there will be Lifestyle Channel, Fox8, Showtime, etc
9. I wish I can walk along the Yarra River
10. I wish I can eat crepes at that place called ....(damn..I am starting to forget!)
11. I wish for life to be simpler, where a full day consists of waking up, play, play, play and go back to bed
12. I wish I can repeat those Melbourne memories, when I can feel so much happier, lighter and more alive

(Shitttttt..almost 2 years in Jakarta and still unable to even like the city)

Older but None the Wiser

Today is my birthday!!!Well...I never been a big celebrator of my own birthdays. Not that I refused to grow up (I know..i'm still in that "Peter Pan Syndrome")...but people expect you to do more when you hit those special days. They expect you to be more than you already are .Suddenly without realising it, when a quarter of a century has passed, it just hits you that you are heavily burdened by this responsibilities and expectations.

It is common and understandable when these expectations come from people around you You can easily ignore them and move on with the rest of the years. But how if these expectations come from yourself? Ignoring is simply not the solution. When I was younger, I always expect myself to be at a certain condition at a certain age. And when it obviously does not happen..(hello...Priskah..where is the soon-to-be-husband and the great career??), you become depressed. You racked your brain to find the reasons why the life is not how it should turned out and you tried to find the mistakes that you might have done in the past that has altered the future. You punish yourself for not achieving enough.

Then you wonder....Is this it? Is this the life that I have meant to be having?

Probably it is. Probably growing up is not how it's cracked up to be. And probably this is the best life that you can possibly have and asked. Probably you should count the blessings that has been given in your direction and probably you have to start to be content and have a peace with yourself.

So when someone has said "Happy Birthday Priskah. It's about time for you to find a patner" with a serious and worry look on his face, you wont feel down and thought that person has ruined your special day. Instead you can still carry out that wide grin across your face and still feeling a little bit special.

Happy Birthday!

Time Machine

Top Five Reasons why the human kind should build a time machine:
1. people can enjoy the lazy days back in the early 1900s where traffic will not be such a problem
2. poeple can appreciate the value of 50 cents
3. poeple can repeat their happy childhood memories (for those who had happy childhood)
4. poeple can choose not to grow up
5. people can repeat their most happy times over and over again

So for those poeple who has the mind of a genius and has the ability to actually build one..please do so!

Blessed

People say that if you have one or two poeple in your life that you can truly consider as your bestest of friends, then you can called your self lucky. Well, in my case, i just feel totally blessed by having around 10 of them. Let me describe them all to you (dont worry, i wont put any names, guys so you wont be exposed! Ha ha ha)

There's this guy that we've met in 1st year of uni. Pretty eccentric, drama-queen, irrational, extreme kind of guy. He can spent so much money on shoes or bags but yet he'll be totally broke (not even a single dollar in his wallet) for a month. He's loud, bitchy but yet very generous to his dear friends. His nasty remarks are funny and in a way he's the centre of our 'group'. And sometimes if he's in the right mood, he'll be totally sweet and gentlemanly (is there such word?..Hm.. i dont think so)

Another one is a girl with a bag collections that are worth dying for. She's very sensitive, i mind you but it's just her way to show how much she cares. She's also bitchy (when I came to think of it, I think all my friends are bitchy...hu hu hu) she loves to swear and cursing poeple when she's behind the wheel.

Another girl with a sensitive personality then came to our lives. Her 'towering' figure and an exceptionally big feet (not that big..I think) always become her issues. She'll do anything for her friends. She'll be a great EO one day I believe as she always be the one to organize our little trips to the cafes,groceries, clubs, car-washing, etc.

The fourth one is a girl with a great confidence (not a bad thing..)She's loud and she loves to shake her booty (what the F*&%). She may look trashy in clubs due to her ways of dancing (hu hu hu ) but she's a very great person. Very caring. Oh and she didnt mind to have her car borrowed and abused whenever she went back for holidays). And have I mentioned that she always has an ongoing battle with her body??

The fifth one is a guy that loves to talk. Loves is just an understatement. He'll yapping about everything. It can be his colleques, or some rubbish topics that crossed his head. He also has an ongoing battle with his body ( a losing one. i belive) as he loves his food so much that sometime he's in denial. He also loves to dance. He loves showing off his moves to us. Not that we mind cos then we'll have something to laugh at. Ha ha ha. And never ever set up appointments with him and then come on time cos he wont.

Another one is a girl with a big hair. She's a freaking genius but has an appereance of a bimbo. She's rackingly thin, but loves to eat. She looks so easy going but afraids with so little things such as watching Peterpan movie as she claimed it's a horror movie).

Another girl with big hair makes the seventh. She loves to wear sexy clothes and a very diligent student. And she used to have a long distance relatinship that actually worked!! (well, the guy finally came after her to Melb). And amazingly she has 4 mobile phones. Freakkyyyy.

The eight is a very dandy guy. A metrosexual to the max. He has a pretty twisted mind though as he loves to bully the 1st guy with a hot steaming water while beaten the guy with knives..(dont worry..this never happen....it's ajoke..geddit?). He has a very 'tasteful' music taste (or that what he wants people to believe) while hiding a song by Mandy Moore in one of his CD collections.

And there's this guy that has a mind that no one can understand. His way of thinking sometimes makes him being excluded..(well..no one can understand him, anyway!!). Ha ha no offence. But he loves to bring avocado (brought by his mother) whenever he came to hang out with us. Uh..and he has a very sleek CLK. Damn.

And last but not least, a guy that I just starting to get to know. He's adoringly cute and innocent but you can tell that he a 'dono'.

We all have been friends for I dont know how long. We spent many crazy nites in Melbourne. We liaghed, cry, fight, bitch, and obviously had fun together. I can never be able to describe the bond and closeness that we have for each other.

And in a funny way...I have been through dating, breakups, job interviews, whatever life can throw at me and these people remain.

A Sweet Hope

May today there be peace within
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be....
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you....
May you be content knowing you are a child of God....
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance,
It is there for each and every one of you

* Mother Theresa's prayer* how sweet

Undo

Have you ever wonder..what if life can be undo? Just like in Microsoft Word pf Excel. Ooops..make a mistake?...dont u worry bout a thing...After u learned your lesson...and know the impact of your actions...you can easily undo it...and then the mistake would never ever eppear. But people say that then you will miss the fun thing in life. Like making mistakes and learned the lesson and live life to the fullest as if it your last and appreciation of the small things in life.

But i quite disagree. I think this idea is brilliant. You will then..are able to make the most of your life. Why? Because at the back of your mind....u know that you can undo your action..so you have no preassure....and if you regret it...you can make the incident all over again and just simply change the route. How nice is that?

Example...you have two choice of either spend the weekend in Europe but with ur parents...or go to your best friend's wedding. Initially..u'll choose the 1st one but u reliaze that u have a mental obligation to attend ur best friend's wedding. In normal conditon...you will spend hours and hours on your bed...thinking and churning..which option will be the best. But if this theory of undo can be applied..you can simply choose one. And when in the middle of the road u've realised that you've just make a terrible mistake..you can undo it. Just like that.

I bet then the world will be a much happier place.

And i bet i would not be sitting here...and feeling like the biggest moron in the world

Virginal Note

Testing..testing.....wow...now i can start write something here!! Welcome to the world of rubbish made by and for me.